My Book

Introducing the First Chapter of My Book!

Hey guys!! It occurred to me that, besides epic snippets thrown into my email list, you guys have never actually seen much of my book before.

SO, I’ve decided to pull out a (WARNING) super rough draft version of my first chapter that I have recently written…last month, I think?

Anyways! I hope you guys enjoy it! As always, please do not steal this content even if it’ll never make it into my real book (I trust you guys!), andddd yeah! Enjoy!Screen Shot 2019-02-10 at 2.39.03 PM

Chapter One


“Who are you?” She whispered, blinking her gray-blue eyes down at him.

Will bolted upright, hacking. His mouth tasted of the terribly familiar tang of seawater.

Shivering despite the sweat pasted across his back, Will swung himself out of bed and threw on some clothes for the day, despite it being far too early to get up.

He’d been having the same dream for three nights in a row now. The dream of how he’d ended up in Athwil.

The memory, more like.

Pattering softly down the stairs, Will exited the house and out of habit he made his way to the village stables.

Horses were just so calming…they were really the only creatures in this village who understood him. Anya was the closest thing to a human friend that he had, but even she could not fully understand his pain.

Will’s boots kicked up dust on the weather-beaten, trodden on path. Coughing, he squinted up at the morning sky, slashes of orange, pink, and purple streaked across it like paint on a canvas.

Athwil was always beautiful in the mornings. In fact, it was such a beautiful town itself that every year people came to visit and sight-see, marvelling at the beauty such a small place could hold. No one really understood what made it so pretty. The flowers, the sky, the shimmering ocean, yes, but there was just something about it that made it so beautiful.

Beautiful to everyone but Will.

He found nothing but sadness and anger in this land. All he ever dreamed of was riding away on a horse of his own to become a knight of glory and honor, praised and loved by everyone for all his heroic deeds.

And yet, it was not to be. A boy of fifteen would be robbed in mere hours of setting out alone, and probably cast into a dungeon somewhere for being under the age of owning a horse here in Valor.

So, here he stayed. At the town that he washed into from the ocean itself.




As the familiar feeling of anger bubbled up inside of him, Will tried to shove it down. His parents were not worth ruining this morning over.

Hurriedly, he entered the stables, and strode straight to his favorite horse, Onyx. He did not own the stallion, but if he ever owned one from Athwil, it would be him. He was the strongest, the fastest, and most prized horse in Athwil, with strong muscles rippling beneath his black coat, and his body powerful enough for any work required.

“Hey boy,” Will whispered, cautiously checking whether the steed was asleep or not. Onyx twitched his head towards him, and Will broke out into a smile, grabbing the bucket of oats from inside the stall and re-filling it.

As Onyx ate, Will stroked the stallion’s head. In here, with horses surrounding him and the familiar smell of them coming to him with each and every breath, Will could be himself. He could relax his guard and become gentle. In here, he didn’t have to fake every breath he took in, and every word that came out.

Because everyone here, everything they said and did to Will, every smile plastered across their faces that never reached their eyes, and every response he gave back…it was all a lie.

© 2020 Mary Herkel. All rights reserved.Screen Shot 2019-02-10 at 2.39.03 PM

Well! I hoped you guys enjoyed that incredibly rough draft scene! I know I did the cliche ‘wake up from a dream’ start, as well as making it incredibly fast paced and dramatic, as well as forgoing anything smart about writing, (I am definitely going to be re-writing it this summer.) BUT, besides all that, tell me if this was interesting for you, if something needs to be fixed, or if you just enjoyed seeing something like this!



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I hope you enjoyed this post! If you have any questions or thoughts, leave a comment down below.

Thanks for reading!


18 thoughts on “Introducing the First Chapter of My Book!”

    1. Thank you, Mary!! I don’t know when it’ll be, but one day I hope to publish a post telling you guys that my book is ready to buy, and then you guys can read the whole thing!! 😄
      I definitely might do a post like this again, though!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my gosh, thank you so much, Amelia!! Weeellll it’ll probably take a while, but I actually would love to have it traditionally published! I’ve literally only written that one chapter, though, so it’s no where near getting published right now 😂
      Thank you again!!! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This seems like a great start to me, Mary! 🙂 And personally, I loved your execution of the ‘waking up from a dream’ beginning ;D It instantly has me, as a reader, asking questions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Edna! 😊 Oooh really? I’m so glad, because I didn’t even realize I started with the cliche ‘waking up from a dream’ thing until I was posting this 😂 I’m glad you liked it, though!!


    1. Aww thank you!!! OH, yes, of courseeee there are so many scenes just waiting to be posted *bats eyelashes innocently as I scramble to type out something epic super fast*
      (kidding, kidding, hopefully I can post another chapter sometime after I edit it a bit!!)


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