The 1 Thing You Forgot to Give Your Characters

Crafting life-like characters can be incredibly challenging. From the basics of creating flaws and quirks to backstory to a full-fledged character arc, us writers are always trying to get our characters to become human-like.

Today, I’m going to share with you 1 really neat trick to do for your characters that you’ve probably either a) never heard about or b) have forgotten to figure out.

Let’s get started!

*Also, thank you to my friend Jessica for inspiring me to write this post!!

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The 5 Love Languages

There’s something in life called “The 5 Love Languages”. It’s exactly what it sounds like: 5 ways humans express their love, and want to receive their love. And it’s so super easy to forget to give one to our characters.

Let’s go through them together and then I’ll teach you how to find which one your character’s have!

1. Words of Affirmation

  • People with this love language feel most loved when other people say nice things about them.

If your character has this love language they will:

  1. love compliments (potentially they will give out lots of compliments as well)
  2. really want their husband or wife to say “I love you,” etc.

2. Quality Time

  • People with this love language feel most loved when spending time with other people.

If your character has this love language they will:

  1. love hanging out with the other characters
  2. love it when someone specifically wants to hang out with them personally

3. Physical Touch

  • People with this love language feel most loved when people touch them a lot.

If your character has this love language they will:

  1. love giving out high-fives and hugs
  2. they potentially will invade other character’s personal space (not in a rude way though)
  3. will probably grab other character’s hands

4. Acts of Service

  • People with this love language feel most loved when other people do things for them.

Fun fact, this love language is honestly what most mom’s are. You know how they’re always telling you to clean your room and do the dishes? If you do them without being told it’s like a huge signifier to your mom that you love her! (of course, not EVERY mom has this love language, but it’s just a pretty relatable example.)

If your character has this love language they will:

  1. love it when someone else does something they usually do for them

5. Receiving Gifts

  • People with this love language feel most loved when they receive gifts from others.

If your character has this love language they will:

  1. give gifts to others (and watch them open it!)
  2. absolutely LOVE receiving gifts from others

Tying it Into Your Writing

Here’s where all of this ties in: Your going to give your characters a love language(All of the important ones: protagonist, antagonist, and big minor characters).

Giving your characters a love language will:

  • Help you understand how to write your character’s emotions and actions when they’re responding to/are in situations of happiness and love.
  • How your characters will act around their friends.
  • Easily understand what makes your character actually happy.

Now, you might be wondering: how do I figure it out? 

Well, quite simply, you take THIS QUIZ right here, placing yourself in the shoes of your character and pretending to be them as you answer the questions. 

Take The Quiz!

Once you figure out what your character’s love language is, you can now understand better on how they’ll think and act in situations of happiness and love in scenes with their friends and family.

Bonus Tips

-While people with a certain love language do a lot of, say, acts of service, that doesn’t mean the necessarily enjoy them (example: moms’ cooking dinner all the time). But that person or character can definitely enjoy receiving acts of service.

-While your own love language might be one thing, the way you express love to others might be another. Almost always it’ll be the same – in your mind, that’s how everyone should give out love! But it’s totally normal for one person to, say, love spending quality time with someone and then always giving that person gifts to show how much they appreciate the time they’d spent together.

-And a final bonus tip: People can have more than one love language. In fact, every single person in this world has all 5 love languages. All of us just have one dominant one that comes out most in our thoughts, actions, emotions, and words. You potentially will have one or two sub-dominate ones, and then the other 4 or 3 love languages or just occasional things you enjoy receiving.
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There are a LOT of things that go into making any character realistic, but this one simple trick is often forgotten or not even thought of. 

I hope this helps you get a feel for how your protagonist, antagonist, and other minor characters will respond in certain situations!

What’s your protagonist’s love language?

What’s YOUR dominate love language?

Have you ever heard of the 5 love languages before?

Anyone wanna guess MY love language?

Alright, guys, was there anyone before reading this who didn’t forget to give their characters a love language?

Like these posts? Wanna have more? Subscribe to my email list to receive inside info and lots of fun! 

I hope you enjoyed this post! If you have any questions or thoughts, leave a comment down below.

Thanks for reading!


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The 1 Thing You Forgot to Give Your Characters

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25 thoughts on “The 1 Thing You Forgot to Give Your Characters”

  1. I think that it’s definitely a good idea to give a character a love language; everybody has them, yet we forget to give our characters them. (*cough* myself included *cough*) Great post! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Okay, but what’s funny is that last week I took the Love Language test for the first time XD I think I’m a mix between words of affirmation and physical touch, although words of affirmation is definitely the more dominant of the two.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, yes, this is great! I have actually taken this quiz for my characters before. It’s so useful to figure out how your character will interact with others around them. I have also taken the quiz for myself and discovered that my Love Language is physical touch.
    Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This was really useful! I never thought about this before. My protagonist from my new story’s love language is Quality time, and the two side love languages are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. I think my main love language is the exact same thing! (It’s kind of funny to see how your personality reflects in your characters 🙃) But now I’m curious, what IS your love language? 😏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Woo, I’m so glad Chloe!! Ooooh, that’s awesomeee! No way!! (So true 😂 My protagonist’s dominate is the exact same one as my dominate!) Haha, okay, I’ll spill the beans 😂 My dominate one is Quality Time and then my runners up are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch 😝

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for this! My WIP has so many engagements, proposals, even sibling and/or platonic relationships and as a tween aspiring author, I think I forget to write in things like these so often. I’m definitely going to spend the next quarter-hour sorting through my *long* character profiles for my WIP and give them all one of these. It’ll help with the breaking-up or even establishing stronger relationships. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your welcome! Ooh, when writing romance it’s PERFECT to know the love languages!! Ahh, good luck sorting through them!! So true!! Lots of times relationships don’t work out just because the couple doesn’t know how to “speak” the other’s love language, so that’d be a super strong reason for those break-ups and also strong relationships!!
      Thanks for reading it!! 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I think there are aspects of this I’ve done subconsciously, but I’m quite sure there’s more to do on that matter. Definitely something to think about during revisions.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Excellent post! I think people definitely forget to give their characters love languages, even though it’s one of the most easy ways to give a character some depth and personality! (And don’t even get me started on the way Every Character In Romance Ever has the love language of physical touch. Arghhhhhh.)
    I actually have given my protagonist/some of my other characters love languages! My protagonist currently has physical touch as a love language (hey, it’s not a romance, so it’s okay. XD), with quality time secondary, which is hilarious because my love language is quality time primary, words of affirmation secondary, with physical touch not even in there, really (although I enjoy it on occasion? it just makes me feel awkward). XD But several of my family members have physical touch primary, so I have research subjects. Mwahahahaha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Samantha!! So true! (AGH I GET THAT)
      Ooh, good for you!! (LOL thank goodness) Ahaha, I love finding out how similar or different I am to my protagonist, it’s so awesome 😂 (true!! Physical Touch is like a secondary love language for me but sometimes it can be awkward…which is why it’s secondary 😆) OOOoOoO, PERFECT *commence evil laughing*


  8. I’ve been fascinated with the love languages, so my main characters have them (the side ones need figuring out). Eric’s is acts of service, with physical touch a strong second. Carla is quality time, which is also mine. Hmm…now for the side characters. Olivia is probably words of affirmation, Keagan’s quality time, and Lash…no idea. 🧐.
    I read the book (well, most of it) Reading People by Anne Bogel, which is about the different personality types and tests. It’s been fun to use them in writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ohh, that’s so cool! OoOo, well, the ones that you do have figured out sound super diverse and awesome! (love your character’s name’s by the way, they’re super unique!! 😄) Haha! Ooh, neat!! I’ve never heard of that book but I just put it on hold at my library to try out reading 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  9. What a great post Mary!!!
    Yeah, most people wouldn’t think to do this. I once thought about doing this, but forgot
    before I did it.
    So thank you so much for reminding me 🤗
    Oh, and love languages work the opposite way too.
    (though you probably know this 😂)
    For example my little sister’s love language is touch, and my mother figured that out because as a child when she was mad she would use touch negatively, hitting, kicking, ect.
    So, thanks again!
    Well keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Sariyah!!
      Haha, I have totally done something like that before 😆 Of course! Thank you for reading!
      Oooh yes, that is SUCH a great point!!! I should totally write another post about this…It’d be cool to use that if characters were in a fight or something, and the one character tries to reach out to touch the other character to comfort them and then that character shoves them away or whatever 😆
      Aw thank you!!


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